Truth Kills and In Memory and Façade

Truth Kills

I was honest
I told the truth and nothing but the truth

This is my truth
Wrong turns, lies, and booze
Doing things I wasn’t supposed to
Hiding my feelings inside
Pretending that it didn’t hurt
Acting like a piece of me didn’t die

My truth
It kills me a little every time
I run and I hide
Hoping to get way from the truth
But in the end, it always finds you

Finally, I am face to face
My truth, but ultimately it is up to you
Believe me, just to embrace my fate
Because the truth doesn’t play any games
It doesn’t hide and it won’t fade away

But at the end of the day
The truth is whatever you decide

In Memory

I wish grandparents never died
I wish I could renew their life, each year give them some of mine.

Mexican accents, nothing new but still from the same roots that they knew.
“Aye, mi Chavelita, es muy grande.”
I can still hear their voices, it’ll never fade because somehow they never cease to leave me or to never change.

Every morning with the smell of coffee,
7am phone calls, it became daily routine.
The treasured taste of fresh tamales on a Christmas morning, made from the love of a grandmother.

For my grandparents, I live for you because not a day goes by when you don’t cross my mind.

I love you forever and it kills me to say that you won’t be here to see me grow but my heart is where you will stay.

Façade

This isn’t a race, it isn’t a show, and it isn’t a contest.
You’re sitting on stage, doing the best you can … hoping that those three little judges choose you to be the winner.
You wear a mask to cover your true identity, wear clothes that are too big, too small …  Performing tricks that you watched others perform.
It’s all a façade, all of it … of how you can win, people please, and pretend to be the version of you that they desire.

What about the real identity that you have tucked away for so long. The one looking back at you in the mirror that you don’t even recognize anymore.
You do everything for everyone else, you forget to give yourself that genuine love you deserve.

Shattered dreams and broken hearts when all along you should have been performing on your own stage while showing your own art.