19:20
The pitter of droplets against the window is all that accompanies me home. All around me is nothing, not a single soul resides on this train; every person present here is nothing more than the static that distracts me from the serenity of melody that is my window side seat.
As I press my head to the window; the calming coolness, the feeling of glass against my face, it all brings forth the calm which this world once had. I can see something no longer there; the tears she shed-
Meqp rpot- Boxn Tovm Nepso im taxihiam rxase
My stop… it’s arrived?
19:35.
The train has arrived at my destination early; this is not something that happens often. No, in fact, I do not know of a time of this contraption ever being early. Most days I sit by the window side, trapped longer than I should be, just to accommodate the progress of man. I am forced to reside in metal and travel at speeds not of my control. I suppose blessings like this are not something to be so offended by, especially when it isn’t unwanted.
This blessing is dear. I only wish it could have happened on a day in which such beauty is not an amalgamation with the window. When the drops of life that flow across are- then again, it is alright, I soon will rejoin the beauty of this world….
19:36.
I should remove myself before I am locked within this capsule along with these accursed. I remember… I remember well of that very thing happening.
I was locked away. I was locked away and all that empty chatter filled my casing. The static and the calamity of these people, the pain in which they enact, the pain- I was locked away-
Locked away, along with them- I was locked-
How loud-all around me they’re so loud- loud.
Loud. Loud. Loud! Loud!
LOUD!LOUD!LOUD!LOUD! I MUST GET OFF NOW-
… I’ve-I’ve made it off the train, I’ve done it… it is done.
I should be getting home now, yes, I should be… I believe my stop is just up ahead to the left? Yes, yes, it is- left.
Mospl Awe.
Just down this way is my home; I’ll be home before long… this is beautiful.
This one seems taller than most, as if reaching the stars. This world is tainted, but it’s undeniable that its beauty is all around. I’ve had the privilege of becoming accustomed to the way light seems to paint it even at night, not by the heavens, but by such slurries of color. A slurry of color that could be mistaken as a gift of the gods.
I’d assume the muck all around would see this tree to be as ordinary and the same as any other, but look at it and deny its allure. How its branches carry to the sky, and how its fruits formed from light resemble stars that it bore itself. Its bark glimmering in hues in which their creatives can only ever dream of capturing. This is a source of true unparalleled beauty, and her melody of rain- this melody brings forth the songs of old in-
19.56.
“Hey, you’re still out. Just making sure you’re okay. If you are, you should know, we need more food.”
“Bring food.”
“Food.”
My little civet of a friend, Olivier. He must be so worried. I suppose I indeed have been out for some time now. I’ll tell him I’m almost home; just around the corner is a food mart I can grab food from. A food mart…
It’s still such a concept of alien nature. The idea of paying for such necessities in life when she once provided-
“FOOD!!”
Oh my… I suppose I should get food.
20:00.
The corner mart – it’s a small little building. It’s nothing like the tree, it’s nothing like any tree. Its form is bland and blends in with everything within this world. Its floors are stained with the filth of all of them, and its lights paint nothing around it. Its lights, in fact, seem to be partially burnt out and ill-natured. Yet of all the things in this world not made by her, I cannot deny the beauty I find in this small structure. It’s not been here long, but compared to many things around here, it is ancient.
The idea of a trade of un-important substances in order to obtain nutrients that of which I require is still strange, but perhaps just from here it isn’t as difficult to accept. Something here has always just been different. It’s nothing like the tree from just down the corner, but it does have a beauty to it, I suppose. Yes, it is something…
20:05.
It’s really been here forever now – not always – but it’s just always been here. I can remember the times in which foliage was all that surrounded me here, nothing more than the greenery and…
This place has been here forever now, I mean not always, but it’s been here as long as any of them can remember. Its roots are old and its ground is soiled. Yet here it stands strong and always in business. Its light- Oh, A sale!
My favorite is on sale, “Little Fish Chips.” Of all that has been created in this world by them, I’ve found the taste of these to be the only true accomplishment man has been able to muster. For every disaster, for the chaos and pain… again the pain…
These are truly the only things that they have accomplished. These are so delicious. I cannot wait to eat them. I suppose I should grab more than just these, it is not just I whom I need to feed, he’ll go mad with hunger if I don’t. There is so much I’ve learned to do to get all that we’ve needed. This world is gray and no longer of her beauty, not fully…
I suppose more is better. As much as the charming aura of this little mart is enticing, I do not wish to return until much has passed. Regardless of its charm, perhaps one day its roots will rot and its flooring over run so that-
“Plap xihh de pem ol fous, vouhb you hije a seqitpe?”
Oh, yes it would be… the need for currency. I suppose one needs to do whatever needs to be done to survive in this world; the need for transactions is indefinite for my fish chips and assortment of pre-made meals. Perhaps this way is easier, maybe an improvement… I’ll never understand why they needed this change, why it’s like this…
They did it for this? They did all of that to end up with a world like this? All of her work and her gifts to them… They did not share her generosity, only turned and took what then she could no longer offer and now we are to be in her world of which they’ve-
“Vouhb you hije a seqitpe?”
My, the eyes that this one possesses… look at them, lost in ripples that are discolored by exhaustion. I remember you.
You’re nothing like this little corner mart, you’re new and have only just recently placed your roots. Yet here you are with pain in your soul. A soul.
A soul?
Humans no longer have souls. They lost that aspect of themselves a long time ago. When the oceans once shimmered and the land bloomed-
“You vamp yous seqitpe?”
“Vlas?” I asked, ‘what?…’
They asked for what? What did they say? I don’t know what they’re saying, what was I saying-
Their language is old and has changed so much in their time. I can remember when it became what it is and the others could remember what it was before, but now I do not know-
Their language is so old, it has changed so much. When I was juvenile it was nothing more than vowels learning to- what did they say? They used to tell me?
“Sir, are you alright?” they said something again, “is every-”
“You’re holding up the line, move!” Who said that?!
I-I do not know. The room is bright, the mini mart is never this bright. The lights have always been dim and reminiscent of the- the-the-
The lights- they are…
The room is really bright. The mini mart is never this bright. The lights have always been
dim-
“Sir?…”
It’s the soulful; why are they holding my arm? Why are they pulling so much? What was I doing? Why is the room so bright, I cannot- why are they pulling me along? I cannot move forward. I believe I’ve placed roots within the little mart.
There was once fauna all around that placed their roots deep within this land. The willows that tumbled their vines graciously as the winds gently blew once laid peacefully upon the land here. They laid here- why are you pushing me?
Soul, you have a soul and you’re pushing me. Why are you pushing me? Why are you pushing me? Why are you pushing me? Why are you pushing me? Why are you pushing me?
“Why are you pushing me?” I said that out loud. I spoke to them. Why are they pushing me?
“Can you handle everything for a minute?” they’re speaking again, to who?
“Ya, I can,” she said that, the second human not far from the register, “but I still think you should have called the authorities. What if he’s a- ya know?”
“Please don’t say that. We have customers.” Why mustn’t she say that? What did she say-Whispers?
They’re whispering.
They’ve always made this insidious chatter. The constant static they create. The soulless, the immoral, they’re the misbegotten of the new age of this world. They’re always whispering and constantly-
We are no longer in the mini mart. We lie just outside. The dim- no the bright lights of the mart lie behind us inside. Now the bright lights of the new world lie ahead. They’re jarring, the lights all around stretch forth and cross past objects of solid matter in order to stab forth in tendrils. Every light is another arrow aimed- why are we outside?
The soulful. A human with a soul lies before me. Their exterior a replication of the fellow chatter of mortals, but yet here stands one of her lineage.
Perhaps, “who are you?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing, sir.”
I can still see their eyes. I cannot be wrong. This one has a soul. Not in many millennia have I bared witness to such a sight, and yet have I also bared to witness another of us? How they would have known if my intuition was correct, but now only I stand in wait for her. Now they have truly burrowed roots into the world and laid forth their energy back to the beginning. They lie not far. They lie not far, where foliage once laid in the most stunning plain.
I remember it not all long ago – t’s not as far back as the beginning of this mortal expansion. I feel something.
The soulful mortal is still here. I am still outside the mini mart. The lights all around still reach forward past everything behind and before it. The lights reach towards us like the digits of old gods-
“Do you have a home?”
I look down and stand face to face with the mortal soul. They have a face most worrying.
“I kinda realize I’ve been calling you sir,” they stutter out. “I know you use that for anyone, but I feel like it’s for older people. You look really young…”
“I’m not.”
“Oh.”
They look quite- they look agitated? They now stand a few inches away. They stand tense and uncertain of what to do now. Do I look young?
“How old do I look?”
“Well,” they mustered, “no older than 20- are you okay?”
They don’t take long to speak again. “Do you have someone to come get you or-”
20:20.
“The time- I need to get home. I have family waiting.”
Olivier must be worried. I have been out far longer than expected. Then again, something unexpected has happened. Turning to the soulful, I have something to say.
“What is your name?”
“I think I asked you first, mister.” They laugh a little while saying this. “My name is Trantian.”
“Oh,” they sound surprised, “well, I’m Dori.”
20:23.
Home…
Home, this is now my home.
I’ve always hated my travels away from home. I consider this abode my home, but it’s only home because of its contents. Then again, isn’t that any home?
I’ve thought of much today – some things more in depth than I ever wish to ponder upon, but yet I still do. The days I walk this world alone I am left with a renewal of my pain. Now for what I live for is only her return. The path in which I march alone. A path in which a companion of felled lineage will last. The longevity promised to me was stripped from the others- another might arise.
“Trantian, are you out here?”
“That I am,” I say, “I’ve retrieved food.”
I should stop thinking for some time – allow Olivier to eat without my squabbling. I cannot worry him again of my- my…
Today of all days, I can remember how much worse today was than most. Yet here I stand unable to care as I’d normally do.
“I cleared off the table, Trantian.”
I’ll set the bags down then. It has been a long day and I am ready for it to slow down and become calm as I await the next. Perhaps mother will be pleased…when she awakes, another may be there to greet her.